If you are in a monogamous relationship and would like to transition to a polyamorous model with your partner, those conversations must happen before any action is taken on your part to become romantically or sexually involved with someone else. But it does mean that cheating on a partner you have been monogamous with from the inception of your relationship and then calling it polyamory when your other partner is revealed is not polyamory. That does not mean that everyone in a polyamorous relationship must identify as polyamorous or is dating multiple partners-there are plenty happy mono/poly relationships. All partners involved must be aware of the kind of relationship they are entering into and enthusiastically consent to be a part of it. Polyamory is not cheating, it is based on honesty. Other participants in polyamorous relationships may resonate intellectually with the philosophy of open loving, have a partner who identifies as poly, or feel flexible in their relationship style – sometimes engaging in monogamous romantic relationships, sometimes polyamorous. Asking them to be monogamous goes against their nature. Being open to multiple, loving relationships is an intrinsic part of who a poly person is. Some participants in polyamorous relationships identify with “poly” as an orientation. A beautiful practicality is you have more emergency contacts, lovers to spend your birthday with, and help around your home. Learning time management, conflict resolution and healthy negotiation helps greatly. The more people you have loving you, the more people you need to love back. “Very clear communication on boundaries, agreements, scheduling, child-rearing etc is a must, and not always easy. “Polyamory requires a great deal of work in the beginning,” says sex therapist Charity Danker, LPC. Polyamory is a word derived from the Greek root “poly,” meaning “many,” and the Latin root “amor,” meaning “love.” As the name suggests, polyamory is rooted in the philosophy that we can love more than one person, in the romantic sense, without those feelings of love detracting from one another. Polyamory is a type of Ethical Non-Monogamy that places an emphasis on deep, intimate relationships with more than one romantic partner. Polyamorous relationships can be just as healthy as monogamous ones. ENM/CNM necessitates the informed consent of all participants who are romantically or sexually involved with one another.
The ENM/CNM spectrum encompasses all sexual or romantic relationship choices which include multiple partners. Polyamory is a category of the Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) or Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) spectrum.
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